More than 25 years since Paul Gascoignes famous tears during the 1990 World Cup made him a national hero, havent we moved on from this buttoned-up stereotype? From Barack Obama crying over the death of children at Sandy Hook to Vladimir Putin shedding tears at a victory rally , these days even world leaders are unafraid to show their emotions. Yet, as consultant clinical psychologist Sally Austen points out, such public weeping invariably takes the form of tidy tears. The emotion we accept, or even encourage, in public figures is still controlled. To be with someone who is crying snot and choking on their sadness takes a level of courage for which we might not yet be ready, she says. The fears are underpinned by negative automatic thoughts; powerful, often unexamined thoughts that affect the choices we make, often without us even noticing. This leads us to worry that, If I start crying I will never stop or, If I cry my colleagues will lose all respect for me, and even, I cant cry because I need to look after everyone else. This can come at a cost. People who might be classed as emotionally strong the stiff upper lipped are more likely to end up with depression or PTSD than those who recognise their need to express their feelings, she says. Its not hard to find pockets of nostalgia for the idea of a stiff upper lip in the UK, fuelled in part by a hankering for a time when boarding school-bred army officers were moulded to take charge of the empire.
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That’s according to Gretchen Rubin, bestselling author of multiple books on happiness and habit formation, including, most recently, ” Better Than Before .” Rubin stopped by the Business Insider office in April for a Facebook Live interview and shared her best advice on being happier at work: Identify the problem. “This sounds so obvious,” she told Business Insider. “But I’ve found over and over, it really helps people.” In other words, there is a really, really good chance that you don’t loathe everything about your job even though you might think you do. But maybe your boss is a micromanager. Maybe data entry makes your eyes glaze over. Updated Ideas On No-hassle Solutions Of Tips For Curriculum VitaeMaybe you travel constantly and don’t get to spend enough time with your family. Keep asking yourself “why?” until you get to that one thing that’s making you feel bad. Rubin went on: “You’re walking in the door in the morning and you’re thinking, ‘Oh, you know what? I don’t like this anymore.
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